AVOID BEING A VICTIM
BY
BRUCE H. MORTON

What is it that makes a woman so vulnerable to becoming a victim? First and foremost I believe it is the way society has portrayed the female, especially here in the United States. Centuries have portrayed the female as the daunting damsel in distress ever to be protected and rescued by the more powerful male counterpart. This is of course a myth. Past years have demonstrated this when even as little girls, women were dissuaded from playing games that evoked aggression and competition. Today that seems to be changing towards the better. Women have often been taught to be trusting of older males, to be nice, and most importantly of all, if attacked not to fight back, because this will only make the attacker mad and he will hurt you more. These are poor attributes to cultivate.

Obviously we can tell from the staggering statistics that are out there on assaults against women, that this is a flawed theory. Ever more are we starting to see this philosophy change to one where encourage women to become more empowered. So, how does this translate into lessening the chances of a women becoming a victim? We know that there is no technique that provides a 100% reliable method to prevent this. The only way sexual assaults can be stopped are if men spot committing them. However, there are ways to substantially decrease your chances of becoming a victim, as well as the attacker’s opportunity. It is those concepts that we hope to impart to you through this article.

One attribute you have to lessening chances of becoming a victim includes the aspect of your intuition. In a book titled, “The Gift of Fear” by Galvin DeBecker, the attribute of the intuition is promoted. Has there ever been a moment when you were around someone that your inner feelings transmitted the message that this individual made you feel uncomfortable? However, due to the way society has proposed to raise females, you did not act upon your intuition because you did not want to offend someone, or make him angry, or even hurt his feelings? Whenever you disregard your basic intuition you tend to place yourself in a dangerous predicament. In his book, Mr. DeBecker recites a story of a young female who disregarded her intuition, only to be confronted with an individual who at first appeared to be nothing more than a helpful person, but turned into an aggressive sexual predator. The bottom line is that you need to trust your intuition. If it doesn’t feel right, ask yourself why, and recognize when it isn’t right, and act accordingly without regard to whether or not you offend someone or hurt his feelings.

Awareness is another aspect. The more aware you are of your surroundings and those around you, the less likely you are to becoming a victim. This does not mean that you have to go around being paranoid, or greeting everyone as someone who is going to assault you, but only that you take notice of people and your environment. A notable firearms instructor, Jeff Cooper, came up with a color code system to help teach individuals the level of their awareness. He utilized the following colors:

WHITE – Unaware; state of mind of a victim.
YELLOW – Aware and Alert 360 degrees around you, not paranoia.
ORANGE – What looks wrong probably is wrong; little red flags; Warning.
RED – Involved in a situation where you must use some form of force.
BLACK – Fear; Temporary Paralyzation; Mind blacks out.

The following color code helps determine what level you are in when viewing your own awareness. Everyone has experienced each of these levels at some time in their lives. What we should strive more than anything else is to stay away from Level White and Level Black. Is it possible to believe that one can stay completely out of these two levels? The answer is no. in fact one major aspect that all of us has to fight against is the act of complacency. This occurs when one places themselves in a dangerous position without experiencing any consequences. This is a natural phenomenon. The more one places oneself in these predicaments without suffering consequences, the more we become complacent as to the outcomes, thus reducing our awareness to the point where we fall into the awareness level of White, known as the victim mode. How does one fight against complacency? The antidote to complacency is the deliberate effort to apply safety habits in the absence of perceived danger. This is not an easy thing to accomplish, but it should be a goal to work towards.

The more often you are in a state of awareness, such as Yellow, the more likely you will maintain a proper distance from probable attacker, as well as place proper boundaries with both those you know and those you don’t know.

Meredith Gold, a notable self-defense instructor, has written an article titled, “Boundary Setting” for Black Belt Magazine. In this article, she cites three types of boundaries, Physical, Verbal, and Emotional, which act as building blocks to an effective self-defense system. Ms. Gold states that often many women, no matter what type of training they’ve had, are very reluctant to speak up and set a boundary, even when they feel in danger. No matter how frightening or intimidating the situation may be, it is crucial that you summon up the courage to speak up and make it clear that you will not be the next victim. Know your “comfort zone” (the distance between you and another individual where you feel comfortable) and be willing to enforce it. Understand that the common assailant is not looking for a fight, they wan a submissive easy target. Simply by utilizing your voice and body language to set a firm boundary, the assailant will be more likely to leave you alone and search out an easier victim.

One topic, developed by Melissa Soalt [aka Dr. Ruthless] has come to be known as the “Four Pillars of Safety.” Ms. Soalt denotes that only one of these pillars actually involve physical techniques. It is the other three that utilize non-physical techniques or aids in preventing you from becoming a victim. Pillar one simply relates to getting to know and understand how criminals operate, especially sexual perpetrators. What’s their mindset and modus operandi? Understand probing questions as being a test. Predators often test a woman’s boundaries to size up her defenses. Testing can happen within seconds or over months, they may be preceded by a simple question or unwanted courting. Intimidation tactics are another method predators used to weaken your defenses or make you comply.

Pillar two involves prevention strategies. Panoramic awareness, body language, boundary-setting and verbal de-escalating, your intuition, and utilizing your voice as a deterrent or a weapon, all fall within this category.

The third pillar involves the mind. Here you must know in advance what is worth fighting for and what is non-negotiable. Resoluteness of spirit is the essence of self- defense. Should you fail in your quest to prevent an attack; having a proper mindset can aid in your recovery from the assault. The mind is the most powerful and dangerous weapon one possesses.

Should you find yourself in a situation that has become confrontational, there are some simple rules to follow that can help. These rules are:

1. Never underestimate your opponent.
2. Expect the unexpected.
3. Don’t let your emotions control the situation.
4. Be Nice, You ca be firm and assertive and still “be nice.”

At times the term, “ladylike” feeds into the view of women as being weak, helpless, and vulnerable. Remember, being a woman should reflect a self-reliant adult, capable of many things, including defending her children and herself, and demands respect as you respect yourself. As Melissa Soalt so aptly put it, “To be effective in self-defense, you cannot just defend – you must attack back. Nothing is out of bounds, nothing is unthinkable. You dial up the creature within; you trade in your polite self; you issue the command and you give that beautiful junkyard bitch within carte blanche to go for the throat.”

The aforementioned information is simple non-physical methods that can become an integral part of your arsenal in helping you to stay away from becoming a victims and another statistic. Again there is nothing out there that assures a 100% factor that you will not be a victim; however, by utilizing these attributes that were discussed you can reduce the likelihood that you will be that victim. Always remember, Stay Aware and Stay Safe!

Bruce H. Morton is a law enforcement officer with over 25 years experience. He is a law enforcement firearms instructor and Defensive Tactics Instructor. Mr. Morton has been involved in the martial arts for over 28 years and has taught women’s self-defense classes for over 20 years.